I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
