at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
