I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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