Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
