she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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