Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
