I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Randomize
