I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
