i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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