i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
