Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
