If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
if i died would you start the facebook group?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize