Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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