sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
