apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize