I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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