Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
