Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize