yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
