As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
