I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
