you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
