1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
