For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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