but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
