Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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