I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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