Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
