Do you still have your period?
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
