nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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