I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
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