I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
