exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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