I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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