anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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