There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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