what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
