I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?