nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
