Pants 0. Shit 1.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It's just like the Real World with babies
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
