I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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