i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize