I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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