I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize