Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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