she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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