you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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