Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
