EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
should my penis look like a turkey
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
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We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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