I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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