how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Is it because I queefed?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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