i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
