She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
