They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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