I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
