he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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