if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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