My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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