He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
