He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
