I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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