Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
